~ Don't let worry kill you-let the church help.
~ Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own
hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
~ Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford."
~ This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the
Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
~ Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put me in my little
bed" accompanied by the pastor.
~ Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
~ Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
~ Thursday at 5:00 p.m. there will be a meeting of
the Little Mothers club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
~ Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at The
Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
~ Thursday night-potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
~ For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery upstairs.
~ The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer,
the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
~ This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church.
Children will be baptized at both ends.
~ This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Nightingale to come forward and lay
an egg on the alter.
~ The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the
ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
~ Next Sunday
a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to
do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
~ The ladies of the church
have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
~ A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
~ At the evening service tonight the sermon topic will be "What is hell like?" Come early and
listen to our choir practice.
~ Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
~Sister Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
~ Let's remember to pray for our church damily!
~ Karen's beautiful solo: "It is Well With My Solo."
~ Congratulations to Tim and Ronda on the birth of their daughter October 12 thru 17.
~ If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
~ There's a sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water-baptized on the table in the foyer.
~ The Elder Doug and Sister Claria Baily would like to announce that last Saturday night they had
a grand baby of a wirl! My, is Sister Claria ever so happy and thankful!
~ Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.
~ Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the red and white information sheep.
~ The District Superintendent will be meeting with the church boared.
~ The subject for next Thursday's Adult Learning Class will be, "The Judgment of God." The Young People's Learning Class
subject will be, "Reek and You Shall Find It."
~ As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing.
~ Lets congratulate our finalists in the Regional Bible Bee quiz. They studied and worked hard for the yanking they deserve.
~ Fifth Sinday is Lent.
~ Thank you, dead friends.
~ Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits.
~ Bring one dozen coolies wrapped for Christmas.
~ Volunteers are needed to spit up food.
~ Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess.
~ We pray that our people will walk in fumbleness.
~ Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference
includes meals.
~ Please remember to give to the Pastor's Church charity fund for those
who wont.
~ Due to the out break of noise in last Sunday's service, please heep your younger children in the back.
~ Sunday night's message is intitled, "Jesus Slept While The Boat Was Stinking."
Bible Guidance Bloopers:
* Are you sorried with what you have to wear or eat?...Matthew 6:19-34.
* If you want to be druitful...John 15.
* When men feil you...Psalm 27.
* For travel: when you leave home for abor...Psalm 121.
* When you want a peace and rest...
Matthew 11:25-30.
* For underwtanding in times of need...
II Corinthians 5:15-19.
* How to deal with bitterbess and strive...
I Corinthians 13.
* When you are konely and fearful...Psalm 24.
* When Tod seems far away...Psalm 139.
* If you find your self hemmed in with the world growing malls...Psalm 19.
* The Lord is our Zhepherd, we shall not wany...Psalm 23.
* The Lord will guide you when you are in anger...Psalm 91.
* When you have sunned...Psalm 51.
* Be gruteful for all God has given you...Isaiah 25:1.
* When the bigger the world seems, the nigger God is!...Psalm 90.
* When there are no answers and you feel you're own and out...Romans 8:31
* For how to get along with yellow men...Romans 12.
* Paul had a hrone in the flesh. His secret to happiness?...Colossians 3::12-17.
* If your pocketblok is broke...Psalm 37.
* Do you lack considence?...Mark 8:35.
* If discouraged about your wok...Psalm 126.
* When your attitude grows narrow and elfish...Psalm 97.
* Having trouble dealing with dears?...
Psalm 34:7.
* When you need courage for a flask...
Joshua 1.
* If you are epressed...Psalm 27.
~ Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the school
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
~ Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.
~ Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
~ The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
conflict.
~ The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water"
The sermon tonight will be: "Searching for Jesus"
~ Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help
they can get.
~ Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of
Pastor Jack's sermons.
~ The church would like to congraduate the Wranglers Boy's Baseball league for all their pass
winds they have under their belts. Good job boys! We're all behind you!
~ The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing
"Break Forth into Joy."
~ Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care
much about you, and hopefully they will respond.
~ Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So
ends a friendship that began in their school days
~ Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
~ The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to
join the choir.
~ Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children
~ The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green
beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
~ Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s)
you want remembered
~ Attend this meeting and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a
healthy lunch.
~ Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10AM. All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
~ The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend
him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
~ Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social.
All ladies giving milk come early.
~ Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 8 PM, Please use the back
door.
~ The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement on Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
~ The subject theme of Wednesday night's Bible study will be on the
fall and rise of Peters.
~Tonight's message is intitled, "Giver of Immoral Gladness".
(this should have read "immortal")
~ The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last
Sunday:
"I Raised My Pledge - Now Up Yours."
~ This Wednesday evening at 7 PM, Chaplain Scott will be
sharing his indredible story with us. Please come prepared to give an
offering to send him on his way.
~The Church By-Laws are by their very nature a buttrest of Christian principles.
[Buttress (butris) n. -Something that serves to support, prop, or reinforce.]
~The two breast things in this life a Christian can look forward to are: "to be loved"
and "forgiven".
67 Crazy Church Announcements & BULLETIN BOARD BLOOPERS © Copyright 2002
~ by Chaplain Scott. All rights reserved to
chaplainscott.com
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